Leo gets his kicks

As Leo grows older, he’s become more and more aware of all the attention he garners as a foreign baby in China. Everyone still adores him and wants to interact with him, but these days he is developing a healthy sense of his own space and he’s not always willing to do so.

Today, at a bus stop, two well-meaning Chinese Nainais (older grandmotherly women) we’re talking with him and telling him how "pretty" he was. They wanted to stoop down and play with him in his stroller, something he was not willing to do at the time (it was late, he was hungry and not in the mood for the attention). He repeatedly told them in Chinese, "Bu yao!" (meaning, "Don’t want!"). However, Chinese peoples’ boundaries are much less tight than ours are in the States, and specifically, children’s boundaries are the least respected of all here. Generally children are laughed at and then the adults do what they want. I tend not to agree with this aspect of Chinese culture, as I think it’s good to teach children a healthy sense of self and a respect for your own needs as well as those of others – and part of that, in my opinion, is having your wishes about your personal space respected.

Well, this Nainai decided, as many Chinese do, not to heed my son’s "Bu yao!" and got right in his cute little foreign face. As our bus was coming, I didn’t actually see this happening, but I suddenly saw her jump up and yell, "He kicked me! Hard!" She was rubbing her mouth, as Leo had really aimed well and kicked her straight in the face.

I sputtered out a quick, "I’m sorry!" as I jumped on the bus with Leo. JM did the same, and we semi-chided Leo for kicking a grandma. However, it was hard to feel that sorry or really discipline Leo for kicking – as Leo had given her adequate verbal expression of his disinclination to interact with her in the first place. I’m secretly glad he feels empowered to ward of unwanted attention, and definitely plan to intervene sooner on his behalf the next time I think he’ll haul out and kick another grandma. I don’t have to worry about his assertiveness, that’s for sure.

From Rhogam to Rabies

Today was rather busy, with classes all morning, a big shopping trip to a Target-like store here to stock up this afternoon, followed by a doctor’s appointment for both Leo and I. I was all prepared for Leo to get a vaccine – having been through this before, I bought him a new little toy bus and some mini M&Ms to sweeten the pain of getting a nasty shot (something my parents can tell you I really hated when I was a kid). Happily, his vaccine went off without a hitch while he was happily distracted by his brand new bus and the taste of sugary goodness in his mouth.

However, I was not so lucky. As I was taking care of the paperwork on the front end of our appointment, I noticed the word "Rabies" written at the top of my form. Hmmm, that’s strange, I thought – why "Rabies"? When I called for the appointment, I asked to receive "Rhogam." For those who don’t know, Rhogam is a shot that many women who are Rh Negative (it has to do with blood type) receive during pregnancy to protect their babies from possible complications if they are married to men with Positive blood. JM is positive – so I need this protection with every pregnancy. It is a good thing I really do read every form, and that JM was along for the appointment today (thus playing with Leo, allowing me to read all those forms) – because today, I almost received a Rabies Vaccine. This would not have been a good thing for a pregnant lady who has not recently been bitten by a rabid animal (and who has already been vaccinated anyway).

So, I cleared up that little snafu with the nurse, and asked her to please switch my request to Rhogam. One interesting and little known fact about Chinese people – almost none of them have negative blood; it’s just not in their gene pool. So, none of them need Rhogam – so instead of Rhogam, they heard me ask for Rabies. Understandable, yet it underscores the need to be extremely careful when communicating in a foreign language – we have learned to ask questions twice, and then ask them again in another way to make sure everybody’s clear! I have asked several times whether or not Rhogam is available at the clinic, and the answer was always, "Yes, of course!" So I assumed it would be no problem to come in and get the shot. But the Chinese, "Yes, of course!" is not always as it seems.

The thing I’m left with after today’s appointment is – why didn’t they ask me, as an obviously pregnant lady, WHY I needed the Rabies vaccine just now? It wasn’t my first time to the clinic – they’ve got my history, etc… and yet, they just assumed I knew what I needed. It is a good thing that is mostly the case.

In the end, we did not get Rhogam, because they have to special order it from Hong Kong and it costs a gajillion dollars for one dose. So we’re back to the drawing board to see how to make this work financially. The other fun thing about my blood type – the hospital has to special order blood for me when it’s about time for me to deliver in case I need a transfusion. I happen to be the Universal Donor blood type, but unluckily for me – I can only accept my own kind of blood. Let’s hope I never need a blood transfusion in China!

My doctor, in top form, took one glance at my belly and said, "You look like you are at least 35 weeks along! You’re big!" (I’m 30 weeks.) And then he went on to say, "Maybe you’ve got twins in there!" Ha ha. SOOOOO funny. Hilarious. Can’t stop laughing, I’m sure. I told him not to mess with a pregnant lady because I can’t take the stress right now. So he went on to grab his nurse to commiserate with his opinion that I am really quite huge. She had no choice but to agree with her boss.

So, no rabies (thankfully), no rhogam (too bad), and confirmation that my BIG baby girl is growing strong in my HUGE belly.